In a singles convention a prayer point was raised" that singles should pray for their heart desires".
A lady prayed,"oh lord I don't want to marry a short man. Any short man that is coming my way I bound him by holy ghost fire!
And there's this short man standing next to her, praying: oh lord I'm a short man but I'm a billionaire.
Immediately she heard the word 'billionaire', her prayer changed.
She said "oh lord! is that your voice? Who am I to say no? I will marry the 'content' and ignore the 'container'. (abstract; 0nline nigeria)

A married couple was in a terrible accident where the woman's face was
severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn't graft
any skin from her body because she was too skinny. So the husband
offered to donate some of his own skin. However, the only skin on his
body that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from his
buttocks.

The husband and wife agreed that they would t...ell
no one about where the skin came from, and requested that the doctor
also honor their secret. After all, this was a very delicate matter.


After the surgery was completed, everyone was astounded at the woman's
new beauty. She looked more beautiful than she ever had before! All her
friends and relatives just went on and on about her youthful beauty!


One day, she was alone with her husband, and she was overcome with
emotion at his sacrifice. She said, "Dear, I want to thank you for
everything you did for me. There is no way I could ever repay you."


"My darling," he replied, "think nothing of it. I get all the thanks I
need every time I see your mother and father kiss you on the cheek."

A BOSS CAME TO THE OFFICE VERY EARLY ONE MORNING AND SAW HIS MANAGER KISSING HIS ACCOUNTANT IN HER OFFICE. OUT OF ANGER HE SHOUTED AT THE MANAGER SAYING : IS THIS WHAT I PAY YOU FOR?

THE MANAGER REPLIED: AM DOING IT FREE OF CHARGE SIR

Igbo kwenu!

:    By Vivian

 

An Edo man invited his friends for his mother's burial, after lowering the coffin, they put yam, rice, meat etc, into the grave.

An Hausa man asked why? The Edo man smiled & said, "According to our tradition, the dead go on a long journey & need all the food items they can get". The Hausa man dropped N100,000 inside and said, "When the food finish, buy more".

A Yoruba man also dropped N50,000 and said, add this in case it is not enough.

An Igbo man who was present at that time smiled, brought out his cheque book and wrote a cheque of N200,000. He dropped it in the coffin and took the N150,000 notes as change, then said, "Nwanne, withdraw when you reach dia o...it is going to be a dangerous journey, we don’t know how many robbers are out there and no one will be there to save you so just manage the check"

Igbo kwenu!

Crossing Road

:    By Holyparrot (Abstract ; Nigeria News)

 

New way to cross roads in
Nigeria: Look left, right, left again
and then look up cos a plane
might just be coming down on
you,n look down too cos u might
be stepping on a bomb. Courtesy: federal road safety .Holyparrot say so.

what will u do ?

:    By ijalana ayokuz (Abstract; online Nigeria) 

My
friend Akin gets into a pharmacy & says 2 d pharmacist, "Hello,
could u give me condom? I'm going 2 my girlfriend's place 4 dinner &
I think I may b in with a chance!" D pharmacist gives him d condom
& as he was going out he returns & says, “Give me another condom
because my girlfriend's sister is very cute too, she always crosses her
legs in a provocative manner when she sees me & I think I might
strike a luck there too."D pharmacist gives him a second condom & as
he was leaving, again he turns back & says "Give me one more condom
because my girlfriend's mom is still pretty cute & when she sees me
she always makes eye contact & since she invited me 4 dinner I
think she is expecting me 2 make a move. During dinner, Akin sat with
his girlfriend on d left, d sister on his right & d mum facing him.
When d Dad walks in, Akin lowers his head & starts d dinner
prayer."Dear Lord, bless this dinner & thank u 4 all u'v given
us".10minutes after, my friend Akin was still praying "Thank u Lord 4
you kindness." Another Ten minutes gone by & he is still praying,
keeping his head down, very close 2 d table. They all looked at each
other surprised, & his girlfriend was even more surprised than
others. She gets close to him & whispered, "I didn't know u'r so
religious."Akin replies, "I never knew your dad was a pharmacist!” See
wahala!!! If you were Akin...what will u do

Naughty emeka

:    By Onyebuchi

 

One day Emeka wanted a brother, so he said to his mom,"mom i want a brother,i am tired of being alone". Then his mother said,"u know ur dad has travelled,when he comes back we would talk about it". Then Emeka's face brightened up and he said,"mom i have an idea. .since dad is away, why dont we give dad a big surprise when he comes back!". .and his mom asked,"which surprise?" and emeka said,"lets get u pregnant before he comes back!" lol